Episode 249: The Costume Parade

October 16th, 2023

Kristen Zaza

[Eerie Theme Music.]

[Your Narrator:]

Hello, little one. Are you lost?

Don't be afraid. You have nothing to be afraid of, here. Not from me, least of all.

Come. Let's walk through the castle. If someone is looking for you, or if you are looking for someone, we will find them. I will keep you safe. Let's go.

We're lucky; we have a friend with us now. Do you feel them, here? I think they've just arrived. Say hello.

Hello, my friend.

I'm happy to see you here in my castle once again. As you can see, we have company.

I was wandering in the darkness, waiting for something to appear, as I usually do in the non-space-non-time existence I dwell in between episodes, when I heard a little voice in the darkness. And a little tiny light appeared.

There was a little room I've never seen before. I discovered it because a little window glowed in the distance, and I heard the strangest music - like a little toy, echoing out in the castle.

[Music; like a wind-up toy's]

I followed the light and the sound to a little door with finger painting smeared across it. The door is shorter than any other ones in this castle. Smaller.

I knocked on the door, because it's only polite, and the little doorknob turned

And out from behind it peered a little child.

I couldn't possibly describe them because I cannot see them, not really, because I don't have eyes, but I know they're there, just as they cannot see me because they do not have eyes, but they know that I am here

We were both there, spirits, ghosts, haunting a castle. But this little one, I've never seen before.

I felt they were a little afraid, but also a little excited. A castle, even a haunted one, is a very exciting thing for a little child.

I could feel my heart glowing, softening with joy at the idea of a child in the castle; but it also was a little afraid, a little nervous, a little worried for the poor little thing

But if they're like me, without form, here, what harm could befall them?

Nonetheless, children must be protected, children of all kinds, real or imaginary, visible or invisible.

Are you all alone here, little one?

No?

Let's find your friends, then.

You must have been so lonesome. You must have been awfully afraid.

No? Oh, what a brave little phantom you are.

Well, little ghost, you must still be careful. These hallways change. The rooms are volatile. There are dangerous dungeons and frightful beasts around every corner. But there are also lovely storytelling spaces, generous gardens, sparkling ballrooms.

I don't know if you are meant to be here, but you are welcome here. You will be safe here. I will make sure of it. I will keep you safe, little one.

Oh, no, I do not have a child.

It's all right. I will still care for you.

[A child's strange and monstrous laughter, echoing]

Oh, did you hear that? Who is that? A friend of yours?

Of course they can come with us.

Come along.

Oh, and what are you supposed to be? Are you a little vampire?

How sweet. I like it. Okay, let's go.

As I was saying. I do not have children of my own. There is a world distant from this one with a Me distant from this one where that is a rather significant choice. But here, it is not so much. Why? I'm not sure I know why. To be honest, in both worlds, there are many children in my life who I care for quite fiercely and would do anything for. Yes, in this world it is you, for we have just met, but still, it is true. I care for you quite fiercely and would do anything for you. That's how I know you're safe.

Why?

Because you're children.

That's just how it is.

[Another little laugh]

Oh hello! Yet another one, and another one. A veritable parade of little monsters. One here has horns and a tail, and another is covered in fur and has sharp claws and fangs. We have a little demon and a little werewolf. That's lovely. You look fantastic. What a perfect cast in this little castle of ours.

Let's go, everyone - stay together.

I was saying - that's just how it is. Protecting children is perhaps the greatest impulse for any soul, human or otherwise. Why? Because you deserve to be protected.

And I'll tell you all something really rather special that most of us often forget -

Everyone is secretly a child, deep down. Sometimes they may forget it, but we will not, will we?

No. No we will not. Good, everybody.

All right stay close, we're going to go outside.

A few more have joined us in our little monster parade. Some have wings and some have scales and some are undead things and there are many many many more ghosts here too. Gremlins, ghouls, goblins, you name it, everything is represented here in a darling little form, following an invisible someone that they can understand quite clearly to be there, even if they cannot see me.

Children are very good at that, don't you find? Trusting that something is there, beyond their obvious senses?

We should be so lucky to retain even a modicum of that trust as we grow from seedling to oak. Or willow, or maple, or cherry, or fir, or whatever kind of tree you feel the most like.

Speaking of trees; we're out the door and passing through the garden.

Don't step on the flowers and don't pick them, children, and you'll find they'll sing all the more sweetly to you. But we must practice being gentle with flowers, mustn't we? That way, we can grow into gentle monsters ourselves.

All right, through the garden, and into the woods, far past the castle.

Oh, I know. I know it's nighttime and it's dark. But you're monsters, remember? What do you have to be afraid of! And all that besides, I am here. I promised to protect you, and I will.

you may play safely anywhere in or around the castle. I promised it and I will ensure it.

I'm here. No need to be afraid. We're all here together. All of us, and our friends listening here. And if anyone ever came here with the intent to hurt any of you...oh, believe me, there will be a very different kind of monster leading our parade.

[Music, again; light strumming on a guitar-ish sound]

All right, here we are. We are in our magical forest.

Have you been here before, little ones?

I think our friends who are walking here with us might have. Perhaps they remember it. Do you, my friends?

There are candles in little pathways, sitting in lanterns hanging from trees. They are waiting to be lit for Allhallowtide, coming up in...oh, a little while, but very soon. The spirits are preparing, as they do every year. And I will help them.

There is a little bracelet hanging from this tree, can you see it in the dark? It has plastic beads of many colours. It's just a little trinket, but it's one of my most prized treasures from a past life.

Why have I brought you out here, to these woods?

Oh no, not for anything frightful, don't worry. I am no witch with a gingerbread house, I am no big bad wolf, I am no wicked stepmother, nothing of the sort.

I'm just a wandering soul, now. A forest monster sometimes. An angel of death, once upon a time.

But what are you all?

Why have you appeared only now?

And what is it you need from me?

By now there are hundreds of little eyes on me, in forms sitting cross-legged on the forest floor, and many more than that here without form too, I'm certain, some impatiently squirming as children often do if they are made to be patient and still for longer than they are comfortable. And some just waiting, watching, smiling.

If it's a story, I'm afraid of giving you one if I am honest. Because well, I don't want to frighten you or make you sad or worried or anything like that

Sometimes there are grown-up feelings in my stories

Adult worries and fears that I don't want you to have to encounter. Not yet anyway.

I wonder why I can't hear you. But then again, I can't hear my  other friends here, anyway, the ones listening from their distant place. I suppose that's the nature of a podcast, isn't it?

What's a podcast?

Well, a podcast is a magical thing. It's a way for someone to speak with many many people, all over the world, and talk about whatever it is they have on their mind. Through computers and microphones and wires and radiowaves and electricity, voices fly faster than angels on the wind and through devices, and we can keep in touch with one another wherever we are.

That's what this is, you see.

You're inside one now.

No, no, of course you're not trapped.

All right, all right, my little friends. I will do my best.

Once upon a time, there was a magical forest. It was full of little twinkling fairy lights among the trees, and little colourful trinkets too, from happy children who roamed there once.

But it was deserted for a long, long time. You see, the forest became a dangerous place. Monsters prowled there, sometimes. No, not monsters like you. Monsters with greedy hearts and angry heads and violent hands. And for quite some time, the place was full only of darkness, and those monsters. Grasping at whatever they could; tearing down the fairy lights; ripping the trinkets from the tree trunks; frightening away the little animals, and chopping down the lovely trees. All of them. Chop, chop, chop. The forest was razed to the ground by these monsters who wore jeans and suits and running shoes. And all the joy was drained out of the river and sold somewhere else for money that was made out of the trees. And the forest was no more for a long, long time. And all the sweet little monsters like you had nowhere to play.

Until one day, someone came.

She was not a mother but she mourned the silence over the land from the sweet little monsters running away from it. She grieved for the fact that the land had become not safe for the very things it was made to nourish and protect.

She was a ghastly thing; a very scary spirit with no hands and no feet and no arms and no legs and no eyes and no nose and no mouth and no ears and no head at all. She was a voice on the wind in the woods. Her eyes were the stars in the sky, clouded as it was with smog and invisible though they were with the city lights growing brighter and brighter. Her fingers were the trees sprouting from the ground that had been cut off so callously. She tried to cry, but the anger in her heart wouldn't allow her to.

She arrived in this stark place that used to be a forest and though her voice was the wind in the woods and there were no more woods, she had a little voice, scratched and painful like the land here, and she used it

This Not-Mother called on another spirit from long ago, a soul called Father Evergreen who came to life in a story from long long long ago, ages ago, in a world far away, so far it was almost fictional

[Singing; music, the same theme from before but on a stringed instrument]

"Rain: fall where my tears can't fall.

Not-Mother tends to you till you're tall.

Seedlings: grow where my hands can't sow.

Father Evergreen protects you wherever you go."

[the song continues as a hum]

And magic happened in that barren land that was once a magic forest

For the magic in this place was not held in the trees nor in the grass nor in the trinkets and treasures nor in the fairy lights, nor even in the little animals or the little monster children, nor in Father Evergreen or the NotMother Herself

It just was.

Unshakeable, unbreakable magic

That just was, and could not leave, no matter what.

Magic happened in that barren land that was once a magic forest; Father Evergreen made little seedlings grow from the ground and NotMother's Starry eyes wept rain over the land and because of that magic, they grew so quickly and so tall into trees

And everything was as it was, the trinkets, the treasures, the fairy lights, the little animals

And the sweet little monsters came back

All at once one day.

All of them.

Ghosties, ghoulies, goblins, vampires, werewolves, undead things, winged things, sweet little monsters of all kinds, each with their own magic within them, they arrived in a little parade to the woods

And listened to their NotMother tell them a strange little story.

What happens next?

Well it's almost Halloween, you see. In a couple of weeks, in fact.

Do you see that city over there? Just through the trees, down that hill? See its lights, so bright you can barely see Mother's Star-Eyes up there? Hear its noise, so loud you can barely hear her voice on the wind in the woods? See all the trees of Father Evergreen's they had to chop down to make room for all of those sparkly buildings?

It's all right if you have to be there. You may have to be there. I often have to be there.

But here's what we're going to do. You fabulous little creatures are all ready for the upcoming Allhallowtide. You can go into the city just as you are. Whatever it is that makes you strange and unique and lovely and scary and happy. You needn't hide your fangs or claws or wings or tails or scales or scars or ears or whatever it is you worry about showing. Halloween is coming and it is the perfect time to show other little creatures what it means to grow tall and strong like a mighty and proud tree, even in a place so intent on cutting trees down or keeping them little and contained.

And if you are afraid or if you are tired and you need a little break, come back to this castle. Where you will always be safe and welcome. Until you're ready to go back out and go trick or treating again.

(Host speaks as Kristen:)

Hello my friends. Welcome to On a Dark, Cold Night, and thank you so much for joining me for Episode 249. Can you tell that I'm getting excited for Halloween? I hope you're doing well.

I would like to thank my newest monthly supporter on Patreon - ChamomileKelsi. Thank you so much for joining my Patreon community, my friend, I appreciate it so much. And many thanks as well going out to Eric, who supported the show by donating through Ko-fi.com - I'm very grateful to you, Eric. If you support through Patreon like ChamomileKelsi, every supporter of $1 or more a month gets access to my complete soundtrack, while supporters of $5 or more a month, US, get that, a monthly tarot reading video every full moon, and a weekly bonus "Quick Moment" meditation on thursdays. Learn more at patreon.com/darkcoldnight. And you can support one-time only without those perks like Eric did through Ko-fi.com ; learn more at ko-fi.com/darkcoldnight. I have t-shirts and hoodies available through bonfire.com/on-a-dark-cold-night, and the Quick Moment Meditations are also available through a subscription to the Sonar+ Apple Podcast channel for 3.99 a month. Find"On a Dark, Cold Night" on apple podcasts or search The Sonar Network to get those and other great bonus content from other Sonar Network shows.

I would love if you followed me on social media; I'm on instagram at darkcoldnightpodcast, Facebook and Youtube under ON a Dark, Cold Night, Bluesky and Tiktok under kristenzaza, and Twitter @ADarkColdNight. I'd love if you left me a rating and a review wherever you like to do so, like Spotify, apple podcasts, Facebook, anywhere else really.

Thank you again for listening, my friends.

I think we're all monstrous little children on the inside, who need a lot of care of and love and forgiveness and gentleness, and I think there's something to finding that care and love and forgiveness and gentleness in ourselves and for ourselves.

I suppose that's something I'd like to meditate on as we lead up to Halloween, anyway.

On that note, take care of yourselves, my friends, and sweet dreams.

[Eerie theme music]

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