YOUR NARRATOR: 

I asked for snow, and it came.

How are you this week, my friends? Have you been well?

I have been thinking about Love.

Silly, I know, but it's true.

I have loved many creatures in my long life. But I don't think I've told any of them.

I think I regret that.

I don't want to talk about myself this week. I think that will be for next week, maybe.

This week I have another Love Story for you.

A young woman went wandering one day where she shouldn't have. Well, I suppose that's not necessarily true. She had never planned to be this far from home. She was left there. By her family, her friends, the people of the village, the elders, and the holy women who had seen this in their fever dreams. They had seen it, clear as day. The girl must be made sacrifice to the beast on the mountain. It had lay peaceful and dormant for a thousand years, but now the oracle prophesied its return unless it was appeased with a sacrifice. A promising young woman, healthy and strong and free. And it was her.

Tearfully, her family had said goodbye. The elders blessed her. They all prayed to the beast, wherever it was. Whether it devoured her or left her to die in the cold, they prayed that it would remain asleep for another thousand years. Stay sleeping, beast. Leave us untroubled.

When they left, she was alone, standing on the top of this mountain, surrounded by snow and the howling wind. She could see through the blowing white dust a few tattered pennants, barely clinging to ancient poles, and she thought perhaps the only thing to do was to follow them. One after another passed, and finally, she saw in the distance an entrance to a large cave. The outside of it was painted ornately with purple...they were symbols she didn't recognize and words she did: words of warning that read, "DO NOT ENTER". There were unlit torches, and animal bones that were strung together with chains of flowers and herbs. These were hung across the entrance. And, despite the ghastliness of the image and the fear in her heart, the girl found it all very beautiful. It was too cold to remain outside the cave, though surely the beast lay within...calculating the risk of entering against the risk of remaining in the blizzard, she decided to go inside.

What a sight she saw then. Candles, lit all throughout...beautiful purple candles. Golden trinkets that may have been as old as the cave...glittering tribute, she surmised, from fearful villagers of the past.

But the further in she went, the more candles she saw. The more neatly the sparkling items were arranged. Stone began to be replaced by smooth, painted walls. The hard, damp floor was replaced by stunning mosaic tiles. She realized that this was a place that was more glamorous and beautiful than even the most expensive villa in her town. More beautiful than any palace in all the country, she thought, as she soon saw golden statues, glorious columns of ivory, and fountains with cool clear water running calmly and quietly.

[The voice that is heard is very low and very calm]

"Why are you here?" A voice came ringing through the cavern, but the girl could not find its source.

"I was brought here. I found my way inside." She answered, trembling, for surely the beast would devour her whole.

[In a contemptuous tone] "Another sacrifice, is it? A Little Snack for the dreaded beast?"

The girl thought long and hard for a moment, before answering, "I suppose that depends how hungry you are."

The creature's laughter rippled through the cave, and with it one candle was extinguished at a time. Soon, the whole place was completely black, and the girl felt deeply and truly afraid.

"Come," the voice said, no longer echoing but quiet and seemingly right beside her. And, much to her surprise, a soft, large hand grabbed hers.

And It led her through the cave. She was a little afraid she might slip, but the hand holding hers did not steer her into danger.

Soon, she knew she was in a much smaller room. "You may sit," the voice said, and when she did she realized she was sitting on a soft, clean bed. "Stay here tonight. Rest, and be warm. I will find you tomorrow night. But only in darkness."

"Wait..." The girl called out. "Are you going to kill me?"

The voice sighed. Confused. Or hurt. It simply answered, "Goodnight, Little Snack."

Her days here passed beautifully. The girl had a beautiful cave all to herself...there were always roots and berries and fish ready for her to eat whenever she liked. There were jewels and gowns for her to wear, scrolls for her to read, harps and flutes for her to play.

She could leave, she knew. The cave was not locked - it didn't even have a door. The journey to the village might be treacherous. And perhaps the elders would be angry and afraid that she'd returned. But she didn't want to leave. She grew to love it here; all the beautiful things around her, the loveliness of the place, the warmth of the fire...and, as it happened, her mysterious companion. The Beast in the darkness. She never saw it, but she heard it and its comforting voice...whenever it came, it was accompanied by shadow, and she couldn't see anything. The creature insisted that this was for the best - its appearance was strange and terrifying, and it didn't want to be seen. It just wanted to enjoy her company. 

[A lullaby is heard, hummed, two voices in harmony ]

The voice would lead her to her room through the darkness, and they would talk and talk for hours without end, until it would sing to her a little and stroke her hair gently as she fell asleep, after which she would then wake up to a bright new dawn. She wondered sometimes if she would still be a sacrifice to the beast's appetite one day or another, but mostly she felt that was unfounded. She felt safe. More than that, she felt cared for. Perhaps even loved.

How sad she was, that her dearest companion in all the world was practically invisible to her. How terrible, that she had to pass all day everyday without them, and instead be lonely and solitary, and wait until the cover of darkness. She wanted to see the Beast.

Usually, at this point in the story, there are jealous sisters or stepmothers or someone like that who goads the girl into breaking the rules. Other girls, who would be too cowardly to do such a thing themselves, but somehow coerce this faithful, noble girl into doing something treacherous like betraying her host. This was not the case. But she did read a story about a girl betrothed to a monster, who managed to break the spell it was under and turn it into a handsome prince. And the notion became intoxicating.

One evening, after the darkness came and swept her away to her room and the host and the guest were speaking of wonderful things like heroes and princesses and labyrinths and monsters, the girl pretended to drift off to sleep, as she had every night for the last few weeks. And she heard the thing in the room with her sigh, and then a few footsteps and a door creaking as it left the room. She heard a few more footsteps and then another door creaking. So. It slept in a room across the hall. Good. She waited a couple of hours, and then found that little candle and tinderbox she'd tucked away in her gowns before the darkness came. She lit it. And she slowly, carefully, made her way into the Beast's bedroom.

Unlike her own room, which was beautifully decorated like everywhere else in the cave, this room was empty. Stark, stone, and damp, like a cave. A perfect home for a dragon, or a chimera, or some other mythic creature. But she couldn't see anything like that. Nothing massive and terrifying. Not yet.

She directed the candle around the room - saw some bones scattered around, as though some hungry creature ate its meals here - but she didn't see a creature. She saw nothing in one corner. She kept going...nothing against the wall, nothing in the next corner. She kept going...nothing in the centre of the room, nothing in the third corner. Nothing, nothing, nothing...

Until there, in the last corner she checked, was a crouched, huddled figure.

It was the size of a person. A person trying to make themselves as small as possible. She came closer and closer, gently bringing the light closer to it.

It was a person. Or, it looked like a person.  

A broad, muscular back heaved with steady, sleeping breath. A head, shrouded in messy, matted hair, was bent under two strong arms. Beautiful, so far. She felt a little validated; she had guessed perhaps that the thing wasn't a monster at all, but rather a lonely, lovely person. She was excited to prove herself right. She couldn't make much else out, so she leaned in even closer...

And, foolish thing, the candle wax dripped down and on to her host's bare skin, and it stirred them awake.

Their face lifted up in surprise and rage, and the girl was both terrified and surprised to see that the face that looked up at her was truly horrible - and yet beautiful, for beautiful things can still be very horrible. Its eyes were red as rubies. Its skin was almost a pale blue, perhaps from living in a cave so long, or perhaps it was born like this. If such things are born. A black liquid seemed to fill its mouth, and drip from its lovely, strange lips. A forked black tongue and fangs were contrasted by the sight of a beautiful gold and pearl crown that nested in that strange mess of hair. And as it shouted and shouted in rage, the ground seemed to shake under the girl's feet, and she was filled with such a dread of this thing, and yet such a deep love for it as well. If you have ever seen a lion with blood on its teeth, then you know the feeling. We all want a lion to love us, but we know that it is more likely to devour us. Yet we reach for it nonetheless. And she reached for her host with a trembling hand.

But it did not take her hand. And before she knew it, a dreadful gale of wind passed by her and through the cave, taking all of the beautiful tribute and decoration from the walls and breaking everything, smashing everything in the cave, completely ruining this palace of peace. She tried to run after her host, but somehow - without wings - it flew from the cave and disappeared into the night sky. And the girl tried to watch where it went, but lost sight, and fell into the snow, weeping to herself. "What have I done? What have I done?" she whispered over and over, suddenly realizing she was alone, and that she wished she were not.

She tried to live on. She tried to pass days and nights in the cave. She reorganized it, thinking her host might like to return home to a clean and beautiful place. But it was no use. They didn't return. And she missed their songs and their talks and the feel of the thing's fingers through her hair.

The answer was clear.

Break the spell.

She put as many layers of fine furs and cloaks as she could on. She wrapped herself up. And she set on a journey.

How long was this journey? Weeks? Months? Years? She didn't know, but she knew she had no option but to persevere. She must search the entire world for the monster.

And by the time her clothes were almost threadbare and her shoes had been worn through, and by the time she barely recognized herself in the mirror for all of her travel and hardships and searching and desperation, she found the creature she was looking for.

She had given up hope, and didn't know how close she in fact was. It was at a temple at the opposite end of the world. She walked past columns that were falling apart and mosaic images, eyeing paintings of a being, androgynous in its beauty and with a lovely young face that was very human. It wore lovely robes and had a graceful, slight figure. The only thing she recognized was the crown it wore; gold, decked with pearls, with tendrils that extended up towards the heavens.

"Woefully inaccurate," a voice said behind her.

She spun around, and saw a monster. It was turned away from her, but that pale blue skin and muscular build and long, tangled hair unmistakable. And of course, that crown.

"You must come back," she said. "I'm so sorry. Please come back."

It bowed its head and laughed deeply. "You are a Snack. Remember? You cannot tell me what I must do." It almost turned to face her, and hissed, "After all, you're the one who couldn't do as they were told. Do you have any idea what I am?"

She shook her head, and stumbled towards them. "I don't care."

"You don't care?!" The thing roared, and turned to her, its red eyes almost glowing, and its serpent-like face stark in the light of day. "I am the ancient thing that your ancestors feared and appeased. I am the thing that can dry up your rivers and kill your crops. I am the beast in the mountains, the devourer of innocents."

It stretched out its great arms and stood tall and proud, and she realized just how large and frightening this monster was even more so now.

"Then take your sacrifice." She said hopelessly, and she wasn't sure why. Perhaps she was so tired and so lonesome that she welcomed death at the hands of this ancient god.

"You..." the thing spat out, extending a long, scaled finger at her. "You are no longer innocent. You betrayed me." And it turned from her and began to walk away.

That's when, perhaps against her better judgment, she said, "I love you."

[That melody again, hummed]

The god stopped in its tracks. It didn't turn to her.

"I love you," she said again.

It still didn't move.

She walked to it, and as best as she could, she wrapped her arms around the cold, large frame, scaled in some places and smooth in others. She pressed her lips against the skin, despite the fact that it felt as though she were kissing a snake. She persevered.

And suddenly, the creature began to laugh. "I will not change into a prince, Little Snack. Leave me alone. "

But when she held them even tighter and kissed them again, she only replied, again, "I love you."

That's all there is to that story.

When that girl eventually grew old and died, the ancient god decided they had lived long enough too, and left the world with her.

Loving without fear is difficult and costly and painful. But it is good.

This is simply a story about that.

I hope it's enough for you this week.

It was enough for them.

It would be enough for me, I think.

Goodnight.

Hello everyone, and thank you so much for tuning in to Episode 49 of On a Dark, Cold Night. And thank you for letting me be whimsical and romantic. We're almost at 50...I can't believe it. You may or may not know that January 17th was the anniversary of our launch date...so this podcast is officially one year old! Thanks so much to all of our loyal listeners and supporters on Patreon and Ko-fi for helping me get to this point. More than anything, your encouragement has really pulled me through the last year and inspired me to keep going. So thank you so much.

I'll keep it short and sweet this week: you can follow the show and keep in touch on Twitter at @ADarkColdNight, Instagram at darkcoldnightpodcast, or on our Facebook page (On a Dark, Cold Night). Feel free to give me a shout at any of those places anytime. I'd super appreciate it if you left a review for the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Facebook, or anywhere else you like to review shows...if you do, you may just hear your words shouted out here and on social media.