TRANSCRIPT - Episode 97: Shark's Eyes
March 7th, 2020

[Eerie theme music plays]

YOUR NARRATOR: 

I have a story for you.
Let me tell you a story. 

Once upon a time, there was a girl who walked a dusty dirt road towards an ancient tower. 

But the story I want to tell you comes even before that. 

There was once a girl who lay in bed and could not sleep. 
In a noisy world with lots of flashing lights and shouting voices and many, many different roads all twisting and turning in different directions to choose from, she lay in bed and rubbed her eyes and thought about the stars.
But when she thought about the stars, this little girl, she began to grow afraid. 
She imagined herself as a little point of light. 
And then, that little point of light grew smaller and was surrounded by so many other little points of light. 
And then those were surrounded by stars, and galaxies, 
And those were surrounded by just blackness,
And she lost the little point of light that she started with. The one that was herself. 
Her vision kept moving away and away and away from herself. 
"There's me," she thought. "And then what?" 
And then there was everyone else around her. In her house, her city, her country, the world.
"And then what?" She asked.
And then there was the earth - a beautiful little marble, sparkling in the sky.
"And then what?" She asked.
And then there were the stars. 
"And then what?" She asked.
And then there was the universe.
"And then what?" She asked.
And she couldn't think of an answer. 
That's where the idea of a great, vast, empty black space came from, and terrified her to her core. 
Because she couldn't, for the life of her, rationalize what was beyond. What was beyond her own little mind, her little experience, her little life. Her little life, which was of course so big and encompassing to her. Of course it was! What else is there? And then what? And then what? How frightening, the concept of nothing! How awful! 
But a voice came to answer her, thankfully. Or, perhaps, not so thankfully. 
He appeared in a dream. Or was it not a dream? Was it simply that he was hiding in the shadows? Had she been awake when it happened? It's difficult to remember. The memory is dark and mysterious, though the details of the event are still vivid. 
With the blanket pulled up to her nose, she saw in the shadows a little bit of moonlight reflecting off his smile. A wide grin, white as pearls and sharp as scalpels. She trembled, but the voice that came from behind those teeth said: 
[In a deep, low, resonant voice:]
"Why are you afraid of me?"

She shook, and she thought about it for some time before answering: "I don't know. I just am." 

He stepped out of the shadows and further into the moonlight. Tall and all in black, with eyes black as a shark's, he knelt down beside the bed so as not to seem quite so imposing. "Well, you don't need to be. I've come to answer your call for help." 

She shook her head. "I didn't call for help."

He raised an eyebrow. "Ah, but you did, child. Your fear called out in the night. Your fear of nothing. Your fear of nothing after life."

She sat up in her bed, looking into those terrible black eyes. "Death?" She asked. His eyes lit up as though he heard his own name called. And she continued, "I'm afraid that, if I die, everything will go away. And everything is so beautiful." 

He grinned an impossibly broad grin now, delighted. "What a sweet and dreadful thing. But, I'll tell you a secret. I can protect you from that. Here's what you must do: Every time you are afraid, you call on me, and I will come. I will come, wherever I am, and I will sit by your bed just as I am now, and I will keep watch. I will be your ever-faithful friend. I will be your friend, and sit with you throughout the long, terrible nights when you are too afraid to sleep." 

"But I am so tired," she said. "I wish I could sleep."

"No, no you don't," he said, and stood, and with a great stride he was at the window in an instant, looking out at the moon and the trees and the wind that shook the trees and the clouds that passed over the moon. "Who in their right mind would abandon something as wonderful as the night? That is where I am, the night. You mustn't be tired, and you mustn't be afraid. I am here. Stay with me." 

 But she couldn't, not always. And though she did sleep at times and though she did forget her fear of nothingness at times, it always came back. Now and then. She'd see the teeth in the shadows, grinning, waiting, waiting, and she tried to ignore them. They are but a memory of a dream from my past, she thought to herself. They are not real. Those shining black eyes are not there. Not really. 
And she forgot about the dream, for dream she thought it was, and as the girl grew to be a woman, I think she simply forgot the dream. Though she didn't realize that the smile came closer and closer. The eyes grew larger and wider. The thing in the shadows was not going away. Her old friend was still waiting, ever-waiting, just as he'd promised. And he was growing larger, in those shadows, though he was still invisible to her. Not only his smile and his eyes. But he was taller. Stronger. Broader. And it seemed that great black feathered things were growing and stretching behind him. And every night, those black feathers stretched further and further into her bedroom, and it seemed her walls were almost entirely decked with feathers, come nightfall. 

Because she hadn't called to him, because she had forgotten her friend in the shadows, he had to devise a new plan. Some other way to fill his lonely, empty nights, though he didn't know that's what he was. Can a vicious lion admit to being lonesome? Does a shark, searching for prey at dusk, feel sadness? Or does it merely confuse these things with hunger? 

And so one day, the girl, excuse me, the woman, walked a dusty dirt road towards an ancient tower. 

To someone who fears nothingness and adores beauty, a crumbling relic of a tower is an irresistible sight. 
He knew this. And so, he built it for her. 

And I think he also knew that I loved monsters. Long before I was one, I loved them. 
I think he knew that I adore the idea of the undead, because I'm so afraid of Death. 
That's the irony of the thing. He sent me right into his arms, because I was so afraid of everything that he was. 
And now, that's what I am too. 

And yet I can't help but feel that my memory of this childhood, this memory of my little room with the moonlight gleaming in and my fear of the vastness of the universe, is wrong. 
No, not wrong. Just not...mine. 

Unless it is mine. 
I don't know. 

I heard a story once about a monster who ordered his maker to create a bride for him, because he was so lonely, and yet he knew that no one could ever love him unless they were made to be exactly the same way that he was. So he forced his creator to create another just like him. So that she could not be afraid of him. So that she would have no choice but to run into his arms. 

But it didn't work, did it?
It never works. 

It won't work now, my love. 
We have peace. Me, and you, my Angel of Death. 
Let's leave on good terms. 
For now. 

[A song, just piano and voice:]

Come in from the cold, though I know you can't feel it
I can't feel it either. 
Come say goodbye, because I can't live with your shadow.
I can't live with you, either. 

Mmm, mm.

In a different time, in a different world, in a different life, 
Everything would happen exactly the same way. 
My villain, my victim,
You, you, you, I'm sorry, I'm gone. 
I need you to be gone. 

When I was young, I saw a world of colour. 
Greens and yellows in the sky.
When I was young, I looked into your face,
Blue, blue, blue in your eyes. 

Mmm, mm.

In a different time, in a different world, in a different life, 
Everything would happen exactly the same way. 
In a different time, in a different world, in a different life, 
Everything would happen exactly the same way. 
My villain, my victim,
You, you, you, I'm sorry, I'm gone. 
I need you to be gone. 

My villain, my victim,
You, you, you, I'm sorry, I'm gone. 
I need you to be gone. 
I need you to be gone. 
I need you to be gone. 
Goodbye. 

[Eerie theme music plays]

[out of character, as Kristen:]

Good evening everyone. I hope you've been well this week. This is Kristen, the creator, host, and team behind On a Dark, Cold Night, and I want to say thank you so much for listening in to Episode 97 tonight. 

First off, let's thank a few new patrons on Patreon. I'd like to thank Kyle for becoming a patron of $2 a month, and Marianna, for pledging $5 a month. Thank you both so much for your support, Marianna and Kyle - your support means the world to me, and I'm so grateful for it. If you'd like to help out the show financially, you can also become a patron at patreon.com/darkcoldnight - patrons of any amount receive access to the soundtrack of the show. If you don't want that perk and only want to donate once, and not monthly, you can also buy me a coffee at ko-fi.com/darkcoldnight. Another way to help out of course is to leave me a review on iTunes, Stitcher, or on our Facebook page. Which reminds me - I would like to thank Jerrod B., who left a very kind r ecommendation on our Facebook page, which reads: "She is so good at what she does. Her eerie stories and lulling tone are wonderful. Her choices of words, volume, and spacing in her speech, as she tells the stories. Helps with insomnia sometimes too." Thank you so very much, Jerrod, I appreciate you taking the time to leave such a lovely compliment for the show. Another way to support us is to reach out via social media - you can find me on Twitter @ADarkColdNight, instagram at darkcoldnightpodcast, or on my Facebook page or YouTube channel, both called On a Dark, Cold Night. Finally, of course, we also have t-shirts and hoodies available for purchase at bonfire.com/on-a-dark-cold-night, if you want something cozy to listen to the show in at night.

Thank you all so much for joining me tonight. Stay tuned - I know we're in the final stretch, but more information about our upcoming second season as well as some bonus things that will be happening between seasons will be coming. Soon, I think. Take care of yourselves out there, and rest well, my friends. Goodnight. 

[Eerie theme music plays]